Picky stuff:

but even if *its more
*its how you deal with it
while you know *its not true
^^^ its = it's

cause when people starts talking
cause *its all about how
^^^ starts = start

and you *cant make up their minds
it *wont matter
though I *wont ever stop
^^^ cant = can't; wont = won't

Hm, It may hurt a bit
^^^ hm = hmm

but *how more you fight for a true life
*how stronger you will be
^^^ how = the

even when *your on your own
^^^ first your = you're

but someday you will know who is worth to trust
^^^ ? maybe: worthy of trust?

and people who just tries to fit in
^^^ tries = try

person *itself
^^^ use some personal pronoun

isnt even worth *to be sad about
^^^ to be = being

*ive had a lot of sadness in life
^^^ ive = I've

Now that's out of the way . . . .

wonderful message said in a very personal & straightforward manner

We all have our ups and downs
... its how you deal with it
^^^
So true, and yet so ignored by people of all ages. Neither joy nor suffering dictate our approach to life, it comes from our conscious choice

cause when people starts talking
... while you know its not true
and you cant make up their minds
it wont matter . . . how you stand in life
^^^
same message fleshed out in a specific instance - powerful reinforcement

Hm, It may hurt a bit
but how more you fight for a true life
how stronger you will be
^^^
"thank you for making me a fighter" - C Aguilera

Well maybe some friends will let you down
but someday you will know who is worth to trust
^^^ this stanza, beginning with this line, seems to go off on a tangent

and people who just tries to fit in
by believing every word they hear
without listening to the story from the person itself
^^^
way off from the opening stanza, how would you tie this issue in to standing on your own, taking personal responsibility?

These words may sound familiar
I just hope you all know what Im trying to say
cause you have to know
ive had a lot of sadness in life
though I wont ever stop embracing life.
^^^
And powerful commitment to the original message, good strong finish

good work here, take care of the typos & grammer and fine tune the middle & it will be great

Is it so bad, those mistakes? besides, its and it's is the same..

When I have time I will change the mistakes, Thanks for your comment (:

It's = contraction for it is
its = possessive pronoun

The only problem with the mistakes is having people take it seriously. Whether that is important or not to you is not for me to say.

My personal belief is that with your talent, you should want them to take it seriously.

It's = contraction for it is
its = possessive pronoun

The only problem with the mistakes is having people take it seriously. Whether that is important or not to you is not for me to say.

My personal belief is that with your talent, you should want them to take it seriously.

Yeah okay but its not only about how good you are in english, But what you trying to say to the world.