Wow, subtle yet thrashing!

Should I place a stock of potatoes
along the banks of Jordan
to soak salt from the waters of death,
so you may absolve your inequities
and drown your bitterness in the sea of low?

^^^ could it be this penitent must wallow on the banks for forty years before being allowed to cross? Is this a false penitent's obstacle? Of course, the Jordan empties into the Dead Sea. You weave layered meanings.

Shall I eat from the nightshade
and enjoy the starchy goodness
that created jealousy
which harvested the evil
that stirs within you?

^^^ Love the assertion that deadly nourishment gives rise to a poisoned soul

No! I will claim Nepal
stand above the Everest
watching you sink
into the depths of malefic disruption.

^^^ The leap to the heights is magnificent. It is significant you chose Nepal, which is a free and independent country, rather than Tibet, which shares Everest, yet is in bondage to China. On the other hand, it seems to me that mere 'disruption' loses the profundity of the piece. It is just too weak, too forgiving.

I will eat from the apple
of which your naivety was created
nibbling on the ribs of swine you have lain with
Through greased and greedy lips
I will simply smile and say...

^^^ Is the naivety a deliberate ignorance on that person's part? It would appear so by the next line, which is again an artistic multiplied image: laying with swine implies putting up with that tired excuse: "A man's gotta do . . ."

Jesus Loves You, I don't

^^^ Perfect!

Kay, I really like the language here. The visuals are striking, and the sardonic tone of your message comes through loud and clear.

I'm not exactly sure who the object of your derision is, but I have a good candidate: that Koran-burning pastor, Terry Jones, who is in my fair city today causing all kinds of malefic mayhem, comes to mind.

Very well done!

Images that came in my mind while reading this are too scary to put in words. This piece brings real strong aura along & its better to maintain distance :)

Great write, very unique.

all the best and take care

Kay,

I was unsure of what this poem was about exactly, until I read Kiko's comment..this somehow fits into the description of that man, yes..we have heard of him here too and seen him burn the Koran. So sad to see a man abuse His name to do such evil deeds..and not only him, but so many have done hideous things whilst wearing garments that suggest a pure heart and soul..so sad to see nothing in this world is holy anymore:(

I really love the sarcasm, especially in the final line. Reminds me of that one song by Phil Collins "Jesus he knows me"

Good job!

5/5 Ingrid

Kay
What a deep powerful piece you have penned.

I will eat from the apple
of which your naivety was created
nibbling on the ribs of swine you have lain with
Through greased and greedy lips
I will simply smile and say...

Jesus Loves You, I don't

This last stanza gave me chills. How sad it is that there are people like this in the world. Your poem captivates the reader. Drawing them into this piece. Holding there breath till the very end.
Excellent job!
Love Cindy

Kay, a poignant write i must say. The adventures of human, of strenght, and weakness, of endurance and how one overcomes the wretched are all wrapped in this poem. 'Jesus Loves You, I don't' sums it up beautifully... Yet giving another perspective to the whole poem. Hugs.

Grace.