What i want

When I was young you used to say
"You can have anything if you try"
What I want is not to stay,
Maybe, it's to die.

No, not that yet
I can still deal
My jaw set,
I'll pretend to be real.

I'll put on an act
And show you a mask
As a matter of fact,
I'll do it before you ask.

Ask how I'm doing
Ask what you will
I'm just re-gluing
Myself with a pill.

A pill that will change me
And make me what you want
It'll make me happy
And chase away ghosts that haunt.

But my ghosts return
They visit in dreams
I toss and I turn
"it's not what it seems"

What it is
Is a dream