Quitting

Well done my girl 5/5 :)

I thought this was yours.
How I've learned your style!

I decided to steal for the final time
one last sip from your bitter wine,
one last breath from your cigarette,
for I no longer love the way flames smell.
^^^ You're doing what I have called 'stealing goodbye!' Marvelous.

Today you won't cling around these fingers,
"pulled you off -
heaved the ring I thought was there, too."
^^^drop the quotes

So, stop laughing in the subtle rain,
as love isn't the only thing I gave up on,
I have quit with acting madness too...
^^^ nice double entendre with 'subtle rain'
Great placement of 'with' - it maintains the meaning that you are feigning madness - as if Hamlet & Ophelia were a single character

Hence, I decided to taste for the final time,
all the things that I haven't.
^^^ & such a great dust-off to 'him'

Sad to see no comments on such a wonderful poem. This piece was thought provoking and got me thinking. I really liked how you used the metaphors in this piece and also the imagery was good as well especially when you were referring to taking a ring off that wasn't there. Nice touch. Your poem had a good flow that kept it going and the stanza's were nice as well keeping in pace with your flow. The emotions in this piece are very strong and you can feel the bitterness leaving and also mixed emotions coming from the lines you have written.

"Hence, I decided to taste for the final time,
all the things that I haven't."

This was a killer of an ending that really stood out to me and was very powerful and it wrapped the entire poem up in just two lines. Your wording was perfect and the words strength was at its maximum. Your maturity as a poet is outstanding and I can't wait to see what you will have next.

So, with all that being said, I am impressed as I always am and I can't wait to see you progress as a poet and write more mature and deeper writes. It's been a pleasure for me to see you from when you started writing to now. Your poetry always captivates me and keep me thinking. Great job and keep writing.

First line I would eliminate the comma.

"I pulled you off,
I heaved the ring I thought was there too!"

This bit was kind of confusing. I would change the grammar or the other I...something like:

"I pulled you off -
heaved the ring I thought was there, too."

Maybe? The double I's here threw me off a bit. I liked the repetition in your first stanza with the wine and cigs, though! :)

"I have quit acting madness too..."

I would add a "with" after acting here. It flows a bit better and the way it is now is confusing. You're acting madness? lol

I LOVE the ending, how you decided to taste all the things you haven't. That was a brilliant ending, I love the way you summed everything up and had a subtle repetition from the beginning stanza. Wow, this was just a beautifully written poem, Nana :) I really, really like this one!