Interesting poem. Felt really personal with all the specific places mentioned. We all tend to miss or dream of something we can't have or don't have, it's natural. Lovely write, you didn't hold back but expressed everything you felt. I think the beginning may be able to use a bit more strength and thought, I felt it didn't hold as much as the other three, but everything else was great and full of curiosity which emphasizes you feeling 'jumbled'. Nicely done overall |
by Jad
I agree with everything Temps said but I will say some of it over again and add a few things! :P Nana, this was a really personal write and I could feel the emotions coming off this piece. Your apparent love for this person is easy to see and also the sorrow of not being able to be with him in the end. It is natural to have these feelings but they are not easy to deal with especially when they mean soo much to us. Your poem was really good though. You had a strong structure and the flow was really good and it never broke anywhere in the poem. Also you were good with presenting imagery in this piece. Gave places that one can see and also described some things. |
A nice poem about Britain, or so I thought! This poem is so emotional and filled with raw mixed feelings. I loved how you described Britain, but how you were referring to memories with someone special. I liked how you repeated "Britain" throughout the poem, it kind of appeared patriotic to me! |
by Naughtymouse
Im not very techincal....but i really like this poem, especially the tempo, so much emotion and openess about it that it literally pushes you to read more. |