Love's Anxiety

by Sunshine   Apr 25, 2011


You make me smile from behind
the curtains that I often cleanse,
and you play with my nerves
at the slightest split of my dreams.

I give in for the confidence that's
playing the strongest in your scenes,
for you fit within the dullest, then
mount in the heart of the beams.

Hesitant ahead of your humor that
revives the taste of my coffee beans,
for laughter is no longer enough, and
sweetness may be bitterer than it seems

by: Rania Moallem

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  • 13 years ago

    by Jad

    I agree with everything that Temps said. Your poem was full of raw emotion and I could feel what you were trying to express in this poem and I have to say you got the feeling across exceptionally well of wanting to love someone but fear keeps you at bay because you fear they may reject you eventually or they are just playing you. Your words speak heavily in this poem and I find this one of your better love poems. Very descriptive. Also your poem had a good steady flow and your structure helped it right along.

    I couldn't find one stanza that really stood out to me as I found they all had the same amount of strength and each was as essential as the next one. Your poem ties up together from the beginning to the end. Your poem really gave me the feeling of being anxious and that really shows your talent as a writer.

    All in all, you are doing a fine job with these poems. You have some great flow going into you and I am glad to see you letting it come out of you in the form of poetry. You are a very mature writer and I am always glad to see you writing new and more creative writes such as this piece where you try and describe a feeling and you do a wonderful job at it. I can't wait to see what you have next!!!! Great job and keep writing!

  • 13 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Bitterer may sound better as 'more bitter'

    Other than that, I think you've penned the emotion of anxiety so well when it comes to love. We're always so apprehensive because we don't want to get hurt. We tend to hold back a lot because of that. I loved the ending, sweetness may be expressed yet sometimes it's hiding something and you may get hurt if you fall for this person, it's always so tempting though. You used the metaphor well here, I feel like it gave that mysterious feeling, like you don't know what to expect, like a play or something because this may actually be a player in the end. That's what I get from what you've written. Nicely done.

  • 13 years ago

    by Acoustic Odyssey

    Another brilliant piece of work Ms. Sunshine. Your title truly says it all, well penned indeed. I'll definitely be reading on.
    Take care

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