Comments : No Strings Attached

  • 13 years ago

    by LoreNz0

    I like this quite alot, youve painted the picture quite nicely and clearly mapped the emotion for the reader to pick up. good work.

  • 13 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    It's difficult to not enjoy a poem that flows so smooth and relates so well to its readers. Sometimes when we've been having trouble all we need is a poem thats short and sweet like this to break us out. Really enjoyed reading this 5/5 Nicely done and I hope you've been inspired to write more!

  • 13 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    Yay :] so glad to see you writing again for I have missed your work.

    There's no chance of a fight, no praying at night.
    No smiles in the pictures I cut out of my sight.
    I'm a hostage, a fugitive, a prisoner of war.
    I can't take this life. I don't want to dream anymore.
    La la la, I can't hear what you say.
    It can't touch my nerves, it just floats away.

    *This was my favorite part of the whole piece. I really liked the part about not wanting to dream anymore. Most people see dreaming as an escape from the harsh realites of life but in this case even your dreams are too harsh to stand. I really liked that. One thing I would change is with the last line. I'd change it to "You can't touch my nerves, so just drift away" that sounds more hard hitting and person than saying "it". Hope to see more from you dear. This was a god comeback :] your die heart fan XD -Nik*

  • 13 years ago

    by Britt

    "I'm a hostage, a fugitive, a prisoner of war."

    I absolutely love this! It's funny the way this goes, you start out seemingly happy that there is a friends with benefits sort of situation (no strings attached), but then you delve deeper into the feelings and realize how it doesn't make you feel as good as you think (my interpretation of this at least lol).

    "Paint me red, paint me back-
    Into the arms of a lover who holds what I lack."

    This speaks so much to me, and I think that is what everyone truly wants... to find someone who will "complete" them, give them what they need and don't have, and in turn give back what they need and don't have. It's a beautiful balance.

    This screams so much sadness to me but at the same time bits of seem content. A truly emotional piece that has a lot of great rhythm! Glad to see you're writing again :)

    I would put a space after your comma in the second line after attached. Typo :)