How i deal

Theres so much i keep inside
so much i have to hide
so many ways i hurt myself
because of all your lies
so i started to cut myself
just to see the scars
just to see that 4 once in my life
im the one in charge
then i started to starve my self
and lose alot of weight
then id go to school
and you would have a disgusted look up on your face
then i saw a doctor
and he would just say
a girl at age 11
should not live that way
ii was close to my death bed
that foggy day in may
ii put the gun in my mouth when the phone rang
it was you
and you just had to say
babyy im sorry i treated you that way
ii put the gun down
and got up and looked around
ii called my mom
and said
mommy plz help me turn my life around !