I look down from this cliff.
i see it all lay before me.
i see my past.
i see you.
i see her.
i made it this way.
i kept the both of you together.
i fought for what my heart hated.
but i couldnt resist the smile on your face.
your death blue eyes boring into me.
i would do anything for you.
i did it all for you.
i protected the happiness you had found.
i pushed everyone away so that you could be happy.
now i watch your future unfold.
your future with her.
and i hate what i have done.
i hate me.
i sacrificed my heart just to see you smile.
many would not consider it worth the price.
but then, they havent see it.
they havent heard you laugh.
they havent seen that sexy smirk on your lips.
they havent loved you.
not like i do.
they dont know you.
not like i do.
i know everything.
you know everything about me.
but perhaps there is one thing you dont know.
the pain i carry every day.
fighting my heart but trying to make sure you stay happy.
the things i put myself through so that its easier on you.
you dont see.
but i see everything.
every night when you hold her i am clutching your pillow to my chest as though it were a bandage for my heart.
but nothing helps.
nothing heals.
nothing but you.
but you are never here.
she's always there.
i will always be stuck on the outside.
i feel the wind brush my face.
just a simple caress.
and the tears start to fall as i turn away from the sight of everything i will never hold as my own..
