I liked this poem but I feel like I've seen it before. Not to say you took it from anyone else but that it doesn't have that original quality. This reminds me a lot of how I use to write. I didn't like poems that didn't rhyme and for awhile I limited myself to that style when suddenly all my poems sounded the same and were no longer good. I think you are good at expressing your emotions and feelings but your devliery is weak. I'd love to see you write some free verse or maybe even form poetry. That way your feelings can be free to be as angry or as happy as you want them to be. Keep writing dear :] -Nik