I wasn't planned
Always to be the mistake
The failure, the whipping boy
Nothing I did would ever be good enough
A's just weren't adequate
Advanced classes and still dumb
Vocabulary of a genius
And still my words fall short
So I'm sorry
Told what to do, how to be
Go on a date and I'm a tramp
Get friends and I'm a liar
See a therapist and I'm crazy
Cut myself and I should die
No such thing as boundaries
I'm miserable and she's happy
I'm happy and she tears me down
So I'm sorry
I graduate college and soon enough
She takes everything away
Now no job, no school, no friends, nothing
No one will touch me
All because of my past
I'm a problem so she's paid
But then I turn into a cash cow
Now only alive because she makes more
So I'm sorry
Pick up scissors, a blade, anything sharp
She just says, as long as it heals
She doesn't care enough to stop me
But she cares enough to go out
And buy me a box cutter
But I don't need to cut really
She punishes me till I bleed
She does all the work for me
So I'm sorry
The punishments get more severe
They start to happen more often
She looks for any reason
To beat me, break me, destroy me
And I just stand there and let her
Because if she causes the pain
Then I don't have to
And I'm satisfied another day
So I'm sorry
I like to watch the blood
It tells me I'm still alive
It's like tears that I could never shed
Pain on the outside
To dull the pain inside
I no longer need to scream
It's all so normal now
I don't make a sound
So I'm sorry
Feelings have always been wrong
I'm sad, I'm punished
I'm angry, I'm punished
I'm happy, I'm punished
Any feeling, any emotion
Is beaten out of me
Until I become numb
Until I have nothing left
So I'm sorry
But sadly this is only done to me
My brother is the golden boy
No body touches him
No body rapes him
No body punishes him
No body yells at him
Nothing, I receive all his punishments
Because I am the mistake
So I'm sorry
I am very sorry;
Sorry I could never be
The daughter you wanted
Sorry I could never be
The person you love
Sorry I could never be
Someone good enough
So I'm sorry,
Sorry I could only be me.
