Unrequited.

Great poem, really good.

I think the title goes well with the poem. Your emotions in this poem are full of love but also neglection or sadness from possibly being turned away. The metaphors you use are colorful as always and produce images in my head that stick throughout the poem. Also the imagery was good as I could see your many pictures you were trying to paint with your words. The poem flowed really good from stanza to stanza and line to line.

"yet I fall a scarlet tint
in each silent moment
along with all my love -
for I offered you
everything I had."

This was the part I liked the best and I thought was done the best. You really make all the lines relate to one another and they all made perfect sense with how you had them. The word usage makes the poem more mature and also adds power to the message. Your words drive deep into the heart as one grasps the meaning of your poem.

In all, this poem was a step further into your writing ability and it enables me to see what you are trying to improve on and also to see how your abilities as a writer are improving. This poem had a good amount of imagery in it and the metaphors were strong as always and the poem seemed to go together nicely sticking to the message and getting your emotions across. Great job and keep writing!

To nibbling on my vinous lips
of that I wish you desired,

*Maybe it's just me but the "of" sounded really weird. I'd just take it out and start with that. Besides that one part I really liked this poem. It was simple and sweet. Some hints of sadness but not so much that it overpowers the poem as a whole. Glad I read this. Thanks for sharing. -Nik*