Not On My Lawn!

Old man Perry
felt like a simple pawn;
he was tired of his neighbor's dogs
poopin' on his lawn!

Big ol' piles of logs,
standin' four inches high;
an odor so vile and funky,
you'd swear you're gonna die!

Picking up the morning news
would make him gag and yield;
steppin' around piles of dog poop
was like walkin' through a mine field!

"Please keep your dogs off my lawn."
Mr. Perry profoundly begged;
one of the dogs walked up and growled,
then peed down Perry's leg!

"Enough is enough!"...he said,
he went to the garage to grab his axe;
that's when Mr. Perry had a new idea,
"I'll settle this with a box of Ex-Lax!!"

Early one morning,
the hour was a quarter of dawn;
there appeared those ugly dogs,
ready to poop on his lawn!

Mr. Perry put out some dog food,
enough to swell a horse;
he smiled as they woofed it down,
nature would soon be takin' its course!

They did their daily poop,
ran back from where they came;
it was only just a matter of time
before his neighbor would go insane!

An hour or so had passed,
no one made a sound;
all of a sudden, there's yellin' and cussin'
"Get out, you mangy hounds!!"

The laxative had worked as planned,
poop sprayed the floors and walls;
his neighbor's house was a rotten mess,
the smell of funk had decked the halls!

Old man Perry's troubles were over,
his neighbor left him in peace;
never did those dogs set paws on his lawn,
the poopin' had finally ceased!