A real form of dark poem... and i liked they way u surrender in this poem.. its just like giving our all to person to who we love. and we surrender our every thing to them.. because we loved them and they would never listen us. and they would not care us.. this is the type of deep sad dark poem. i loved your poem.. always... keep it up 5/5 plus nominated :)

Your writing forces me to say "" i surrender"
Great work.

I just have to say, this really blew my mind..
even though you surrendered, you still never gave up..

I surrender
To the look residing in your eyes
Judging all my words as being lies

^^^ This stanza sets up all: discounted by the One in whose eyes you reside!

... fear
^^^ Self-surrender - avoidance for survival

...To the grip you have around my neck
One movement, and my life is wrecked
^^^ Literal captivity

Knowing that you will never set me free
^^^ Despair

To the gun you hold on my head
Triggering it, will send me to eternity bed
^^^ Assessing death as your only way out

No room for hope here. You may not have finally given in, but there does not appear any belief in the smallest chance of escape. This is a truly dark epitaph

I love the part where you say,
"Triggering it, will send me to eternity bed "
it really shows wat the poem is about

Wow... this poem is amazing! A VERY great dark poem actually! I loved it... so dark and twisted, yet interesting! I can definitely relate to the feeling of being powerless... and the emotions you've expressed are so powerful because it's difficult to feel trapped in that way... Great choice of words too!

I was gonna say i surrender, blah blaha blah but every1 else seems to have said that.

but really, this poem takes the reader and makes them feel the entrapment you portray so wonderfuly. good work on this 1.
5*

Ya diz ones really quite different from ur other writes, well done...

Well written and so deep and scarey close to my own heart , love it well done
Donna

I like the imagery that is created. Nice work!

The feel of submission, the fear, which can also be translated into meaningless obsession is amazing here.

Despite that this is the style of the poem but I think that the repetition of "I surrender" here is a bit forced upon the poem.

But Generally I loved it

I like it .. but i dont think you should surrender

Scary, emotional, nd loving. I think of my mother and myself if I ever get in2 a relationship like that. which I never hope 2 get in2...Ive seen enough