Comments : Rain Tonight (Mixed Poetry Forms)

  • 13 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    I LOVED THIS!!! You used two of my favorite forms and they were soo good. Very beautiful poem deary. :] -Nik

  • 13 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    'a threat ripens tonight'
    ^Loved the usage of ripens here, really definitely something different.

    You brought this poem to life. Lots of imagery and all the senses could be felt. Mixed poetry forms, lovely idea as well. They fit well together. Very creative!

  • 13 years ago

    by Jad

    Hehe, I have been surpassed when it comes to forms! :D I am very proud of you and this poem is very creative and you bring it to life with the imagery you inscribe into every line. The flow was really good and I could easily read along with the poem though some of the forms made the flow flicker a bit it still went right together. The challenge of writing a poem with all these forms is first off very interesting and challenging and you not only pull that off but you also make a awesome message with it that portrays imegry to its fullest.

    In all, you have grown so much as poet and your creativeness is deffnitely reached a apex in writing! :] The poem was strong in message and also form and it appears that you used all the forms properly which was hard in itself. I can't wait to see what you have for us next. Great job and keep writing!

  • 13 years ago

    by The Queen

    Love this piece so much, you're talented :) Not a single word seemed force just to fit the form. Keep it up!

  • 13 years ago

    by Sincuna

    I am very impressed with this piece, especially the opening lines reaching towards the near end of the poem; the climax.

    Out of curiousity though, why write this poem in mixed forms? Is there a special meaning behind it?

    Anyway, I didn't expect the poem to be coherent with each other, but you've done well to connect them in a way. Especially the first three stanzas.

    Which brings me to my only criticism: The 1st stanza introduced the "conflict" that a threat is to occur in this specific night. And you productively shared such images of nature that relatively brings trouble. But the ending did not give the impact that it seemed to promise. It merely dicatated what was obvious in the beginning. I was sincerly hoping for a dramatic change or twist with all the images that were happening. But maybe that was the point of this poem and my adrenaline right now just needs to take a moment's breath.

    Other than that, the poem is really something you should be proud of, there were lines that have been paraphrased and used before ofcourse, like:

    the night resting under a starry sky,
    thunder comes crashing down

    but it happens. Only, and ONLY, if you've found better substitutes would it be necessary to change. But other than that, Congrats. :)

    favorite line: "and the moon lights a path of dream"

  • 13 years ago

    by Jyoti Rawat

    Good one

  • 13 years ago

    by Robert Gardiner

    Wonderfully Done!!!