I don't know where to begin, I've lost my mind, so confused..
I walk with a stumble, can't keep my balance, been so abused
Mentally and physically, there's just more to me then what anybody sees..
Been so independent over the years that all I seem to do is give the air a squeeze
Wishing, one day, that place will be filled..
But as time moves along, I think more tears will be spilled
Before that ever happens, I been running from my pain, can't hold inside..
Been told your always around, where you at?! I can't stand being teary eyed
They say people only come to you in time of need, I've tried so hard not to bug you..
Though I've done that with a lot of people in my life, not just you
I wanted to prove to you I'm not like that, but I'm running out of things to do!
They also say what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger..
Then why don't I have the strength to get up and last any longer??
I've fallen so much, feels like my face is being embedded in the concrete..
Laying in the middle of BROKEN Blvd and DREAM St.
I wonder if they'll be my last breaths I take before my body can't function anymore..
But overall I need you now more than ever..i fear I'm fighting near the end of this war
Against the very thing I live with every day..battle it every time I get ready to go somewhere..
Staying away from every mirror that comes near me, shattering the ones that follow me there
Surprised I even know my eye color, never stopping to take a look myself..
Never thought I'd have to take a step back and take a real look at my health
To see the damage I've caused, its crazy how I been with thoughts running through my head..
Maybe it would have been better outcome if I had come to you before I had bled
Out into a deep state of depression where I have struggled so much..
And before it comes down to my last breaths, I think we needed to get in touch
I never expected it to be this long, nor to have a writing like this under these circumstances..
But I also feel like people should be able to get second chances
To start over, restart their minds, make the best of what comes around..
To not have to always get up and just get knocked back down
So I shout out to you with my last hope in to hear my plea and not be shut down again..
But until then, I guess only time will tell..I'll either hear from you..or will have to face you like a man and face what I've done..amen
