There is this picture of you in my mind,
This picture is from the day that you died.
I can't get rid of the way you lied dead,
The way I stumbled upon you lying in bed.
This picture is with me, day in and day out,
It frightens it scares me, there's no way about.
The way your face looked, your body a mess,
All tangled and twitched, right there, in bed.
Your nails all turned blue, your face yellow and cold,
Your eyes closed, your body, ever so uncontrolled.
The moment I saw you, it didn't dawn, but every day after,
I understand you're really gone.
I feel this pain and fear and longing, this mind incapable of understanding, accepting and belonging.
The fact of the matter, the way that I feel, Is uncharacteristic irrational fear.
Fear of dying, fear of losing, fear of everything that appears confusing.
I loved you, I miss you, I don't know what to do,
What to do to get rid of this picture of you.
You were my family, my person, my gran,
Tell me how do I go on without you in this grand scheme, my grand life plan?
