A Tear, A Nightmare

by UntamedButterfly   Jun 5, 2011


Another day goes by
another tears runs down
my bright red cheek
over my little ol' frown

i wish i could say
that it's a tear of joy
that would by a lie
it's a tear of annoy

"everyone makes mistakes"
that's all i am
a mistake you made
like the lion and lamb

you made me
your personal joke
i didn't know
until i finnaly awoke

awoke from this nightmare
and into another
one that is even worse
on the will last forever...

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Burning Angel

    I cant seem to stop reading your poems now that I started. You are a Magnificent writer. This poem is great.

  • 12 years ago

    by ButterFly01

    You really should keep writing. I felt as if this poem spoke to me & that is what poems should do. :)

  • 13 years ago

    by UntamedButterfly

    Thankyou for the comment i will keep it in mind while i am writing.

  • 13 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    My biggest suggestion would be to go back and thoroughly check your grammar/spelling and the word understanding, sometimes you used plural instead of singular forms; it makes the piece harder to flow and understand.

    Go further into detail with the mistake between the lion and lamb. Yes the reader can guess the connection, but what about this love that you wanted? Were you the victim of abuse? Who was who? I just don't feel the intrigue here.

    You display a great deal of emotions- but delve deeper into your heart's stirring. I did like the end about the nightmares continuing, but give the reader more sense about the realness of what is chasing you.

    God bless.
    Please keep writing.

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