Flit is a word you don't hear all that often, it definitely sounds different. I'd have to say I'm neutral on the usage of it. I like it much more than what you had originally though.

'Cobbled square' - I was just thinking that maybe you should insert something much more personal here, if you wanted. Like an actual place you've been with someone who meant something to you. It would I think give the poem a more romantic feel & give the poem more meaning.

'I swirl, and you are prose in my arms..'
^I already told you I adore this part. Sounded wonderful every time I read it over.

'You borrow the smile of Mona Lisa,'
^I liked the reference here to Mona Lisa, it was something different as well. Obviously you're trying to portray this person's beauty to something else. Perhaps if I dig even deeper, you can see that maybe the reason behind this reference is because it's such a well known painting, so thus she seems like this perfect image to you.

'I hear the honey in your whispers
and you feel heavy in my silence'
^I know you are trying to speak of the sweetness of this person's voice, honey does work here. I like it a lot better than the original version. 'Hear' may be a word you would want to replace. Eliminate 'the' before 'honey'. I would change the second line to 'while you feel heavy in my silence.' Loved that line btw, they've left you speechless.

Just a few suggestions, but otherwise a beautiful write.

I love the bittersweet setting to this poem. It suggests happiness, but has a hint of darkness. The word usage was great in my opinion, as well as the cleverness of the poem. I think each line was unique and interesting in it's own way.

My favorite line was, "You borrow the smile of Mona Lisa". Not for the reference, but by the context of it. :)

Great write! Keep up the good work :)

I really enjoyed this short, but powerful write.
There is a lot of emotion packed in it.

I'm having a bit of trouble picturing what "prose" looks like. Perhaps change to "frozen." Also, the Mona Lisa line doesn't seem to really fit in with the rest.

All in all, a very nice read.

Really good write and i loved this line >>>You borrow Mona Lisa's smile,

its meant to be the most famous and beautiful smile in the world i just thought it was enchanting x

Exquisite, romantic, unique... with beautiful images. You should write more of this type Colm!

Loved... "snow of moonlight." :)

A beautifully crafted poem.. by a talented hand. Bravo

Okay, I really liked "You Borrow Mona Lisa's Smile," but I personally liked more the thought of someone being prosed in your arms. That's a sweeter line in my own personal opinion.

5/5

-Heather

Short but romantic and sweet poem.... good work 5/5