Under a French Sun

Hello, thanks very much for the welcome, and giving me your thoughts on the poem -I will certainly have a look at the points you've made. I know the capitalisation is odd and incorrect , suppose I was just playing with it, for effect. However, if it irks the reader, perhaps I should just be more conventional! I have a few other poems and will post them, and look forward to reading more on the site too. Thanks again.

Your title definitely caught my eye. Maybe capitalize 'sun' though.

Hot, Vanilla -
I point out your
tiny but distinctive form
strolling across the bridge,
and, for a second,
you hover
on my nail tip.
^Very creative start, haven't quite read anything like this before. I wasn't sure if hot and vanilla should have a comma between them. Also you should only capitalize 'Hot' , it's not necessary to capitalize 'vanilla'. I do like how you said 'nail tip' instead of 'fingertip' that is used so often.

'Soon, Expresso -'
^'Expresso' doesn't need to be capitalized. I like the point of view you have here, as though you're speaking to the coffee as it is made. Interesting idea with the napkin.

Really for your first poem on the site I didn't find this as that bad of a poem considering what I normally see. I can definitely see some more wonderful poems coming from you in the future. Welcome to PnQ. (: