Thinking Back...

Thinking back on the day when my heart was ripped out of my chest,
i was mad and i was confused, but yet you still had me at my best.
Thinking back to when i would lay in your bed all alone and just cry ,
and how i still have not yet told you goodbye.
Thinking back on when you kissed that b!!tch infront of me just to make me mad,
its not my fault i ran into you guys on a friday night, truth is, it showed me how you are so im kind of glad.
Thinking back to when you would hit me, smack me, bruise my skin,
you'll NEVER see those marks like i do, i can only see the real damage from within....
Thinking back to when you would yell at me , call me names for sticking up for myself,
you didnt take the time to think about how you were affecting my physical and mental health....
Thinking back on the rainy days or snowy nights when i would bus and walk to where you were,
wondering if it would show you ANYTHING at all, but i guess i can never be too sure.
Thinking back on when you would diss up my family just because they disagree with you putting one finger on me,
but you can never look at that from their view, its only you're side that you selfishly see.
Thinking how my biggest downfall is that i love you like i do,
and how people would ask about you seeing me as if they never knew.....?
Thinking about a couple mornings where i would wake up and wonder when i'll get fed up and just go,
but i cant stand the thought of me losing you, being replaced with another ho.
Thinking back when you were hurt in any condition, who was the one meeting you from the emergency room?
always trying my best to help you all the way through, wishing on the healing of you're stitched womb.
Thinking back on when i would wait for you, when you went out to get drunk and have fun ,
you dont even let me go out with you, and you want to assure me that im you're only one!?
Thinking back to the time where you're family would tell me one day i will wake up and see,
and how i am so young i should let you hurt me, i should be having fun like you and set you free.
Thinking back on when i would deny the truth just so i didnt have to leave ,
but when i stick around you do things all over again, and hide things up you're sleeve.
Thinking about how i let you torture me and take my happyness away from my heart,
maybe thats why you keep doing this to me, but now, me sticking up for myself is about to be step one, it will be a start.
...........