Comments : Heart of Jewels.

  • 13 years ago

    by LJ Roodt

    So few words can say so much, you pinned it perfectly.

    This was a great piece to someone close.

    Great choice of words and well portrayed.

    5/5

  • 13 years ago

    by Jad

    A lovely poem that speaks more then the normal person is going to be abel to understand or comprehend. I know that you poured your heart out in this poem for this friend of yours and I know that they will get the deepest meaning out of it. Your tone in this is ernest and you are trying your best to portray this friend with kindness of utmost respect. The imagery is also good in this piece and it shows how you see this person even though you have never met them in person.

    As you peel back
    layers of hardship masking
    her heart -
    ginger flowers are unveiled.
    ^^^
    I like this stanza as it opens the poem up quickly and effectively. I do however not like the dash as it seems to much of a stop for me. I don't really have any idea what to do for it.

    A heart embroidered
    with jewels,
    for she loves with all she has,
    wishing for a future of love,
    for he's everything to her
    in every way.
    ^^^
    In this stanza you delve more into what she is like and also her dreams and desires making them known and keeping a sense of love embedded with each line in sincerity.

    She's beautiful.
    ^^^
    Wonderful ending to sum up all you want to say and to let her know that she is perfect how she is and she does not need to change. A true friend you are and this will definitely make her smile. :]

    In all, you have done a great job at describing your friend and letting her know that she means everything to you and that you want her to have the best she can have. You are a really talented writer and I am glad to see you try writing from different areas. great job and keep writing!

  • 13 years ago

    by Brittany C

    Short but good and meaningful. The wording was great and so was the flow. Keep up the good work.

    5/5