Dude I really like this poem there's excellent flow to it :-)

LJ,

The fact that it is already published makes it a little hard for me to truly critique your work. It doesn't really matter anymore, the poem is already out there..

But anyway, I think there was too much repetition, "her"for instance was used often, too often in my opinion. I think the first stanza is the weakest one and the others tell a good story:)

Overall you did well on this..but I don't really understand why you choose an already published poem to be critiqued by us..just a thought. Maybe you could post some new ones that you want our honest opinion about?

Welcome back:)

5/5 Ingrid

Thanks Ingrid,

Reason for posting it again - is to exactly get your critique towards it. As i was not happy with it - but my publishers was lol

Thanks again, everything you said towards this piece is my thoughts to. :)