Unspoken For.

by Poet on the Piano   Jul 9, 2011


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How does one measure the distance to moon's caress?
In quiet proximity, in desired awareness, in breathtaking thought,
There are no guidelines on how to breathe over and over
Yet, you manage to place your passion's life inside me
Until I am separated from speech, it's only sense I recognize.

How does one build a stairway to the stars?
In building faith, in combined soul, in lively depth,
There is no trickery or deviating path from you
It is a direct route to heaven- being with your truth
Gives me the length of love I could never throw away.

How does one learn to love as wide as the world?
By seeing how beautiful you are
And that as long as you live, I will have someone
To love as far as the beginning of the galaxy.

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  • 13 years ago

    by Saerelune

    "How does one measure the distance to moon's caress?
    In quiet proximity, in desired awareness, in breathtaking thought,
    There are no guidelines on how to breathe over and over
    Yet, you manage to place your passion's life inside me
    Until I am separated from speech, it's only sense I recognize."
    ^ Nice way of starting you poem. People usually end their poem with questions to leave things open, but you did the opposite thing. You started with a question so you could add more details with each line. I liked the way that, although the first line is a question, it is vivid and mysterious. This way the reader won't know what to expect yet, so she'll remain curious.
    I enjoyed the inspiring words that follow thereafter. It makes me think, and realize that love is so much more than the oh-so-old fairytales tell us. You add depth to something that is supposed to be simple (the fairytales tell us it's simple).

    "How does one build a stairway to the stars?
    In building faith, in combined soul, in lively depth,
    There is no trickery or deviating path from you
    It is a direct route to heaven- being with your truth
    Gives me the length of love I could never throw away."
    ^ Nice to see you repeating the structure of your previous stanza again, and including the nightsky (moon and stars) in both questions. It keeps the poem tidy, despite the very different wisdom you're portraying in both stanzas.

    "How does one learn to love as wide as the world?
    By seeing how beautiful you are
    And that as long as you live, I will have someone
    To love as far as the beginning of the galaxy."
    ^ The question here really awakens the reader as it is suddenly very direct. As if you're trying to disillusion us. Then you balance this effect again by making us step into another world of beauty and oblivion. Well thought-out!

  • 13 years ago

    by PoetryKnight

    Excellent poem, great usage of emootion inside poetry, keep that up, and keep writting, and I'll keep reading. a 5/5 indeed.

    From the PoetryKnight