I like the way the intensity builds during this piece, until it reaches a final crescendo... and then the whole world pauses and the poem ends with the narrator getting what she wants... at least for the moment.

I especially love the bit about the "fix-my-car, undress-me-fast fingers."

Very well penned!

Can I call you transparent ! you are one of they very few emotional, sensitive people I have read poetry for!

I love this so much that it gna break my heart to give you have a comment, because its worth talking about everything revolving through your words, how you ended it was my most favorite, always leaving the bombs for the end :P well you exploded my silence by that romance how suddenly you showed us how charming that moment is when you forget the world around just when...

(sorry..lol) 5/5

This one was the o.5 lmao...

here you go, the other half of it

the world around just when...he looks at you where everything around tick stops..and it feels in this poem like I was watching a very romantic movie

(sorry..lol)
^
no longer :P

This is freakin awesome, I love how you build the atmosphere and how right at the end the world just stopped for a second. Epic.

Ben