Once again sitting alone
trying to keep my thoughts at bay,
wishing I could just be numb,
I don't want to feel anymore.
Feeling like I'm lost at sea
in a sinking boat
and I'm screaming for help
but no one can hear
'cause right next to me is a million miles.
I'm trying so hard to prove that I'm strong,
to show that I'm able to stand
but the more that I try,
the more that I fall,
I'm not getting no where but bruised.
I'm trying to hold on, be what you need,
but I feel like I'm ready to break,
I'm running out of strength to give,
feel like a candle sputtering weakly
right before it's flame goes out.
I know you say that the only limits
are the ones we put on ourselves,
that if I think that I can't then I can't
and if I think that I can then I will,
but baby I'm not as strong as you.
I'm asked if I'm alright
and how do I answer that?
All I can say is that it's ok,
I'm used to being alone,
I've been alone for so very long,
But I wish I could get you to see
I know the risks all to well
and it's my choice to make
if I'm willing to pay the price,
I just need to be next to you.
Call me selfish, naive, unaware
and maybe I really am
but I don't ask for much at all
and I'll beg if that's what it takes
but please don't make me live this way anymore.
I won't ask you change your plans,
I won't get in the way if I can,
just please, I'm asking on my knees,
let me have the extra time
even if it's just holding you while you sleep.
Four years baby is so very long
and I know it's not fair at all
but please don't break my heart again,
don't make me sit in my fear alone
hundreds of miles away.
Sometimes I wonder what I haven't done,
what I have yet that I need to prove,
what is it I've done that makes you keep me away
when all I want is to be with you,
sometimes I think it's me.
I know the risks all to well
and the price that I might be asked to pay,
but baby please don't just lock me away
to try to keep me in a shielded place,
let me be a part of your life.
