Inner Child

Hello Dear Jesus
It's been a long long time
I hope that you still know me
I've been hiding quite a awhile
I know you know all things
Still I think I should explain
The reason I've been hiding
Is because of all the shame
I know I don't look so great
For meeting up with you
But I hope you understand
But I've been alone since I was raped
You probably see the dirt marks
And smudges on my face
But it seems no matter how I try
Some things can't be erased
They say the eyes are windows
That peer into the soul
I'm afraid if you look there
You'll find it dark and cold
I'm not sure why it is, Lord
But you won't see any tears
I guess they've been locked up
Inside me all these years
I know that limp and lifeless
Is my unruly hair
I guess thats just what happens
When no one really cares
And if you ask a question
I won't have much to say
I found no one really wants
To hear me anyway
Sit quite and you'll hear
How hard my heart is pounding
That's because of all the fear
You'll notice I wrap my arms
Around me all the time
I do that for protection
see, not so very long away
Someone took away from me
Things I never meant to share
And if you find I tremble
When you are close to me
It's because of all the dreadful things
That someone did to me
Jesus I'm so sorry
If these things saddened you
But when I cried out for you
You didn't tell me what to do
I know in my mother womb
You creted me
And I can't help but wonder
Is this what was meant for me
They say that you are every where
with each and everyone
But it seem that on that dark night
You left me all alone
They tell me that you love me
I suppose its true
But Jesus please remember
On that night I couldn't find you