Comments : Waiting for Forever

  • 13 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    I have a few pointers which i hope may help,
    stear away from the same word, the word wait in the first lines is confusing, maybe

    "It seems I am waiting,
    forever i must wait,
    neverending"

    The rhymes were simple, and common therefore not too effective.

    However there is potential so keep writing,

    love always,
    Tara-Kay

  • 13 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    And also, use punctuality, the poem will flow alot better if you use comma's and full stops.
    xxxx
    Tara-Kay