Painting Worlds

by Mel   Jul 29, 2011


We were legends then...

Painting worlds with our tongues

Giving birth to
fantasies
and our own religions

Creating
cities of sherbet, lavender skies
We never saw them decay
turn black like tar

We kept love hearts in a musical box
blue inked kisses and hugs
On 7mm lines

I could smell the dirt before the rain
Threatening to wash away our yellow brick road
And leave us wondering...
... what went wrong?

But we were legends then,
Were we not..?

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by The Queen

    The first line indicates that the entire poem is about the author digging up their memories and their past. Such a structure (a single opening line and uneven stanzas) and with the right punctuation gives the poem a regimented feel. Arguably, the heart of the poem is neither the first line nor the second, but in my opinion, the first two lines in this poem are already enough to make a great poem. The idea that is presented to the reader in the phrase "giving birth to fantasies and our own religion" is mutually connected with the closing line, "were we not"as it could be seen as a direct answer. Overall, another mesmerizing and powerful poem, keep it up!

  • 13 years ago

    by Mel

    Ohh my goodness. Thank you, all of you, for taking the time to read and comment!! xx

  • 13 years ago

    by Nobody

    Im in love with this poem It is awe-inspiring and truly beautiful.

  • 13 years ago

    by Kiko

    This poem is a real treat. It conjures up memories of childhood, when life was fun and colorful... and then it all melts away, like your city of sherbet, once adulthood calls.

    Well done and congrats on the win!

  • 13 years ago

    by Cinnamonspice

    Magic Magic Magic :-) Words bent to your will in this amazing write. Awesome
    Connie

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