The Child of Eternity

Something is in me
Something I don't understand
Its a child
An unexpected thing
Unknown of the challenges that it may bring
I don't really know weather I can
Continue in this way
But I think he is
A Person

He will have a name
An eye color
And a family who will love him
A personality of his own

Every month I know he gets
Bigger
He is healthy and safe from harm
He kicks and lets me know that hes there

Month go by and I am getting to know him
I read to him
Tell him I love him
Every night

I have chosen a name for him
I think it will suit him well

9 Months has gone by
A week to the due date
"he looks great" said the doctor
so I wait for the arrival of my loved
Child

Soon the time has come
Early though but common
I was read for him
And he was ready for me

The time had come to see him
But no cry
Nothing
"Still born" he was
and death i felt
there was nothing to be done

I cried for what seemed like an
Eternity
thinking it was all my fault

My poor little boy
no longer able to know
what love is

It broke my heart
It hurt worse than a lost love
because he was my friend
He was always there
Never left me
Till that day

Now i feel empty
No one for me to talk to or love

I cry at night
wondering why me
his family to wonders why him

I will alway s miss him
Even though i could not see him
He was in my heart before
And shall remain there now

My love for him shall last till the end of time
*******************************************
Dedicated to Sawyer Anderson Hogan Died July 28, 2011 before he even got to start!
He was not known to many but he was loved before we even knew him it is hard to except the fact that he is now gone. But I worry for his parents more than me and for my Uncle Phillip who is taking it rather harsh for it was to be his new nephew.

I Love you Celby and Vaul and most of all my Uncle Phillip I am sorry for the great hurt that you feel and I'm sorry I cannot help you through this pain and sadness that I know you can call it misery.