Whispers

by Rusheena   Aug 6, 2011


There are sweet little monsters that try to invade my thoughts
Sweet because they tell me what I want to hear
Monsters because they try to chew off my ear

I betray myself when they sing me to sleep
I forget the source of those subliminal lullabies
Forgetting they're the source for the tears in my eyes

I don't think my psyche can endure much longer
I can feel it resisting those little beasts, but it drains the life that I fail to see
A cold, still corpse is what's becoming of me

I let those whispers control my heart and soul,
Which are cold and pitch black
Because they've been devoured by the monsters on my back

I die a little every day, as I let more of them in
Those claws are cutting deeper
And my wounds are getting steeper

Those whispers are holding hostage, planting tumors in my brain
This all could have been avoided, if I'd gotten rid of my terror
But I'm fading in and out now, falling victim to my error

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  • 11 years ago

    by zombiepikachu

    Well, in reply to your reply (I don't think it gives me the option I reply to yours)
    When I say downgrading, it seems like the speaker is downgrading her/himself to something such as child play, because no one really takes child's play seriously. She is keeping herself from being understood to her potential. She'll just be brushed off.

    • 11 years ago

      by Rusheena

      Oh. Then you're right. The speaker is addressing her demons, but she's not doing much to overcome them. So she's giving in to self-pity and by calling them monsters, she's not taking her fight as seriously as she should.

  • 11 years ago

    by zombiepikachu

    This was very nice!
    I loved the imagery and the rhyming seemed to me to make it feel more like child's play. So I felt as if the speaker was downgrading themself. (If you don't know what I mean, just ask!)
    And by the fifth stanza, the lines get really short, and I felt as if that reached the crescendo. The climax of the poem.
    The only problem I have with this poem is the last line of the first stanza. It seems like you were sacrificing the meaning for rhyme. I didn't think the voices ripping of the ear made much sense. But, again, perhaps it's just me.
    On a side note, I loved the subliminal lullabies you write of. It reminds me of Brave New World and the way they conditioned the kids while they slept! C:
    -z

    • 11 years ago

      by Rusheena

      What do you mean by downgrading? I think I know, but I want to be sure. And yeah, I'm not very fond of that line either, and I was doing exactly that. I feel that's it's my weakest line in the poem. Thanks for the feedback, and I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)