Is This Too Much?

-Hurting so much that I cannot
hide it any longer and a
river of tears flow down my
cheeks to my pillow.
Crying until I cannot anymore.

Words the invisible knife that
goes deeper with each
word spoken until it makes it
through.
Words that then make a knife
slice downward more each
time with it's painful intention.
In the end, what is left is a
broken heart, sitting inside
depressed crying in pain.
My mind can't stand the heart
this way.
Thoughts fluttering in of the
possible solutions all no
good to be thought; let alone
acted upon.
My heart feels so weak it can't go
on; there is no hope
or support.
Time to end it, my heart can't
take any more and either
can I.
Hands shaking as they accept the
mind's command.
Taking slowly a few pills at a
time, in the palm of my
hand and taking them to my
mouth.
After that slowly taking a knife
and slicing my will to
live.
Sitting in the corner in the fetal
position, my face to the
wall and my back to the rest of it
all.
Silently awaiting my fate as the
blood trickles all over and my
blurred vision sets in.
Could this be the end?
Oh please don't let it be!!
I can take no more.
Set me free of this life and bring
my heart to the joyful
beats it once had.
Bring me to the place of ecstasy
and harmony so that for
once I may be happy.
I cannot and will not take this
pain and guilt anymore.