As Difficult as it sounds - When you walked away

When you walked away I was only five years old.
When you walked away I was too young to understand.
When you walked away I saw my mother crying.
When you walked away you took half of my heart.
When you walked away that is when my problems started.
No matter how bad a situation may be how could you leave me.
Not just I but my older brother as well.
Growing up without you was a nightmare.
Growing up without you become so difficult.
Growing up without you turned my life upside down.
My mother can not teach me how to be a man.
My mother can not teach me how to treat a woman.
My mother can not teach me how to be just like you.
I thought you would always be there to guide me.
I was wrong.
I thought you were the strongest person in the world.
I would greet you at the door every night.
But I had been robbed of my time with you.
Every time I see a son or daughter with their fathers. I die a little inside.
I think to myself, "That was suppose to be me".
It pains me so much not to have you around.
Every time I look in the mirror I see your face.
I look just like you dad.
I walk just like you dad.
I sleep just like you dad.
I even developed a country accent just like you dad.
My mother says I'M JUST LIKE YOU.
But I will never know for sure.
You will never know for sure.
You will never know how many times I hurt myself in your name.
You will never know that when I had the gun to my temple, you walking away was the last thing I saw.
Dad I needed you.
Even at twenty-three I still need you.
Dad there is not anyone here to hold me in my time of need.
My mother does not care anymore about you.
My brother moved out an never has anything to say.
My friends say, "Grow up and be a man".
But dad how can I be a man if I did not have you?
Just show me a sign that you love me.
I will forget everything.
I will forget you leaving when I was young.
I will forget all the hatred I have toward you.
I will forget all the nights I cried myself to sleep.
I will forget how bad emotionally you hurt my mother.
I will forget the heartache.
I will forget it all.
But when you walked away, you already made your decision.
Daddy just come home.
I love you.

Thank you for taking the time out to read my poem. I know a lot of you have grown up without your father or mother. I'm just expressing own feelings about not having my father around. Thank you