Comments : Sticky Sickly

  • 13 years ago

    by Narphangu

    God Abby. Just marry me already?

    I'm not sure what to say about this poem except it made me grin from the title to "coat."
    In the first line, the wording and line break make me thing of "sweet confection" as a pet name... like honey or sweety, but better. So much better. You could be talking about baking here, sure, but I'm gonna make a break for it and follow in the wake of that perfect "marshmallow buttocks toasting" line.
    Where's the "bun in the oven" follow up line?!

    I think the end is great... after all that built up yumminess, the last section is a literal "cool down", although you carry the sweetness through with the ice cream. I'm pretty sure anyone who read this poem would forget their coat, but that last line is maybe my favorite part.

    This piece makes me drool. 'Nuf said.

  • 13 years ago

    by Sunshine

    Hahaaha ABBYYYYYYY now I know from where Narphi got inspired for her RainBow Cakey :P

    Man woman..lady egh I too am in LOVE with adorable piece, you just are one of the most creative people on the website who really loves her imagination! Loves to makes us analyze and think, and I really love to use my head!

    I wake to you, sweet confection
    wrapped in cotton layers,
    marshmallow buttocks toasting
    in the fresh day's gleam,

    ^
    1st of all, reading this poem as fasting person is very unhealthy LoL, am in love with your sweet references...like waking in one of the best moods having this amazing charming smile on ur face ..perhaps being tooo optimistic and i may be too reading it wrong, am just giving u my emotions right now :P
    ;)loved that part!

    You bake gently in my bed,
    softly breathing cinnamon.
    ^
    WOAAAAHHHH amazinggg omgggggg, I dont blame narph for proposing lmao..this is an amazing feeling of peace, of comfort, seriously! And passion.

    I step out to the slap of the winter's wind,
    thinking of icecream
    and forgetting my coat.
    ^^
    HELL you kill meee, this also should be nominated next week, omg omg omg, this is art, pure creatitivty for that state of amazingness deeepp down! oh hell u do rock!

    5/5
    comment 1/complete :P

  • 13 years ago

    by Kiko

    I've read a lot of poetry that compares lovemaking to various sweet concoctions, but never one as elegant and eloquent as this piece.

    The only part that didn't seem to fit was the "turkish" reference, but overall another stellar write from you.

  • 13 years ago

    by abracadabra

    Thanks, all. Have you heard of Turkish Delight in the US? They are tooth-achingly sweet, gelatinous cubes, flavoured with rose water and swathed in loads of icing sugar. I was first curious about them when reading The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe when it was Edmond's first wish from the White Witch. I've been a lover of it since.

  • 13 years ago

    by sibyllene

    That book got me curious about Turkish Delight as well. Except I always pictured it as flaky with a moist center, and covered in powdered sugar.

    Abby, you can write endings like no-one else. This poem made my teeth hurt and my heart warm. The last line is superb.

  • 13 years ago

    by Cinnamonspice

    LOL I adored this, in every way it was a brilliant write :-) sensual and sticky :-)
    Connie