Don't spoil me, Love me

by Sunshine   Aug 9, 2011


Discern me no more for you
can't carve my dreams
nor fulfill the wishes I need.
If I write you my misfortunes
and my hardships you might
raise castles beneath my feet,
ones that no artist could
but it won't move my emotions
nor daze my tears like a loss would.

I want to be your words not the
wearied kisses you've tossed
around. Be a moment of your
midnight, one so full of promises
were no harsh lessons of the
real world will take place,
I am not a believer in fairy tales
but I am in an awful need of one.

by: Rania Moallem

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  • 13 years ago

    by A lonely soul

    So, this one has some real yearnings, some magical words to lift the readers spirits, and some innocent but real worldy desires.

    The best and the most thoughtful stanza was the last, of which the last 2 lines most deliciously thought provoking. A very lovely write.

    "There are many kinds of joy, but they all lead to one: the joy to be loved. Never-ending Story" — Michael Ende

  • 13 years ago

    by Ingrid

    Be a moment of your
    midnight, one so full of promises
    were no harsh lessons of the
    real world will take place,
    I am not a believer in fairy tales
    but I am in an awful need of one.

    ^^

    Love how you wrote this, I can understand your need for something so grand, it will change your world very well:)

    Well done, Nana:)

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 13 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    Aww wow... as always Nana your poetry really touches me. You have an amazing way of words! I love your metaphors... The last stanza was absolutely perfect! Such a great ending!!! Well done my friend:)

  • 13 years ago

    by Decayed

    OH MY GOODNESS....

    I can't believe my eyes.. what I've read dazed the heck out of me!

    "If I write you my misfortunes
    and my hardships you might
    raise castles beneath my feet,"

    ^ Conditional sentences in any poem always give depth to it, in my opinion. But no, this wasn't any conditional sentence,,, this is a unique, original thought.

    "I want to be your words not the
    wearied kisses you've tossed
    around."

    ^ The rage within these lines is so tempting. Like a vintage, love movie!

    I am not a believer in fairy tales
    but I am in an awful need of one

    ^ This verse is definitely my favorite.
    It's like nothing ever mattered before. Every word summarizes a whole stanza of descriptive thoughts. It's so vivid in its simplicity!!
    And the atmosphere is concentrated within these two lines.

    I so love this piece.
    You've poured your thoughts out wonderfully.
    The pace was great, and so were the images that are well structured.
    It was so enchanting to read,, and very heartfelt!

    A DEFINITE NOMINATION!!

    +
    5/5

  • 13 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    I am not a believer in fairy tales
    but I am in an awful need of one.

    ^
    I WANNA SAY THE F WORD.

    AND YOU GOT ME WRITING IN CAPSLOCK TOO YOU WANT A FAIRYTALE??? WELL LET ME TELL YOU A FAIRYTALE

    ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A GIRL CALLED NANA AND SHE MET 2 FRIENDS CALLED PEN AND PAPER...AND THE 3 OF THEM HELD HANDS TOOK A TRIP TO NANA'S MIND AND IN THERE THEY MADE MAGIC....

    GOD....

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