Behind the Iron Gate

by sibyllene   Aug 10, 2011


Nighttime in San Miguel is teeming and rich
and swirling with twilight. The sun fades
in spoonfuls of gold spilled into the ocean, shrinking to
candle flames scintillating over wavelets, shrunk again,
extinguished.

As the sun sets, scent blooms -
a thousand tropical flowers with petals
flung wide
to enfold the moon like a seed.
Snake-green stems and
fuchsia buds crushed and rotting
in soil writhing with worms
and clicking with the wings of
beetles, leafhoppers, spittlebugs, whirring cicadas.
They rattle their dances on tin roofs.

Castled in a tree, an iguana
with its
flaking skin, mottled tongue, curled claws, roving eyes
watches dancers assemble in the square.

Smells are whisked up into their skirts,
tapped under their wingtip shoes,
buried under their wedding bands.

Their hands are frail, their eyes
are thick with the steadiness of decades.
The walls are thick with grime and graffiti.
The air is thick with smoke, laughter,
the sound of trumpets, shimmering.

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  • 12 years ago

    by The Queen

    Normally as a reader, I tend to look first at the beginning line of every poem I read. My first thought was about a heaving and prosperous nighttime behind the Iron Gate and it did make me want to know what's going on. As I tried to sit down and read through, the promise of the first line was impeccably carried through in the rest of the poem. The imagery of the sunrays like candle flames is astonishing, actually, never thought of it before. I like the personification being used here to describe those insects like those of John Keats' poems. I love this poet's use of colorful language and the accessibility of the ideas to the readers.

  • 13 years ago

    by Sunshine

    MY GOD..JESUS! HOLLY MERRY..SUNSHINE...lol :)

    while reading this poem I am listening to Beethhoven..Moonlight Sonata..and if you listen to it while reading your own poem, you, gonna, cry! No reason, just the perfection of your images, the colors you used, the absolutely depth you've simplified yet achieved..

    I just cannot believe that only Luna expressed for you how important this poem is, sib your poetry is dangerous...ya!

    your opening stanza reach my so freshest and deepest breath inside of me...and the wording left me dazzled already that i reread the 1st stanza to catch up with the rest of the poem..

    your second stanza made me smile to see the word sun like in all your piece so far YUPI..but i grew up immediately and went for a journey with your flowers and petals..and it sounded like a spring...amazing verse.

    your 3rd stanza, held some wild words like mottled tongue..and curled claws which added more nature to the poem, and made a balance for the beauty i felt before that part..

    the 4rth stanza I sense your simple side and loved
    the line saying tapped under their wingtip shoes,
    buried under their wedding bands...
    Just worded easily, but had impressions behind it.. smart work .

    As for your closing stanza aka 5th..
    it was RICH very rich...less dosage of images yet a very descriptive stanza, and i was so fond of allll the thoughts you've brought to my head..
    like the air being sick with smoke YET laughter
    ...and ended it with, shimmering..
    u make everything interesting, you are Dangerous..enough saying that right.
    5/5
    also to my club list!

  • 13 years ago

    by Saerelune

    Ahhhhhh excuse me, too much windows around me (I'm trying to post all the comment to the entries), you may delete the previous comment if you want. =/

    ***

    This was probably my favourite one from yours. :) Congrats on making it to the final round, although it's a pity you didn't get to submit the last poem. You truly shone within Nor and Mel's contest! I'm posting my comment here:

    "Nice perspective between title and poem. If this were to be posted on the poet's profile, then the reader would have literally stepped into a whole other world after opening the gate (clicking on the title), so to say. Anyone reading this piece will be enchanted by its vividness, it's truly like a magnificient painting. There's poeticness and naturalness in this piece, which is a combination that's often lacking in most poems. I have to admit that I didn't quite had the patience to go through some lines that just listed a few things. Such as "beetles, leafhoppers, spittlebugs, whirring cicadas". I felt like they didn't add to the overall atmosphere of the poem."

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