Comments : The rain

  • 13 years ago

    by Jenni

    First of all I have to admit that I'm not much of a "nature poems reader or writer", though I do catch a glimpse here now and then anyway. Reading poems like this encourage me that it was more than worth the trip.

    Why ask who will stop the rain
    when the question is when will it begin?
    Drought is here, lakes are down
    whether or not it comes
    damage is already done.

    ^ I think that the question you started this poem with encourages the reader to think and wonder whether they'll find and answer by continueing to read your poem. The fact that you described the current situation made the answer quite obvious already and I think that this stanza flows really well.

    Trees dead everywhere,
    homes sunk inches deeper
    foundations need repair
    wildlife has nowhere to escape

    ^ The honesty and straightforwardness is definately necessary when dealing with a topic like this, there is no reason to appease the actual situation. You might want to think about inserting a full stop at the end of this stanza.

    Is this from global warming
    or just some weather freak?
    Becoming desert in any case
    as the rain just stays away.

    ^ Finishing your poem as you started it, with a question, brings a specific structure to it that I really like. Your question obviously shows that it doesn't matter what's the cause for this but that we should rather try to do something about it.
    I really love rain and I think that your poem definately showed its importance.

    Overall I think this is a well written poem, which flows really good.

  • 13 years ago

    by Brittany C

    Good poem. It was short but to the point and still good.
    Probably would have titled it "Drought" instead of "The Rain" because poem is more about the affects of drought. So the title is a little deceiving.
    Other then that it was a good poem.

    5/5

  • 13 years ago

    by Innocent Fairy

    Love love love this magnificent poem from a fantastic poet 5/5