Comments : Shadows of Thought [Triple Senryu]

  • 13 years ago

    by Decayed

    The calm sleepless nights
    Impervious to feeling
    Ever forgiving

    ^ I get so captured with such dark, vivid scenes.

    The shadows of thought
    Lay siege to my emotions
    Never relenting

    ^ This is my favorite part. But I think you should make 'thought'..'thoughts' as it keeps the flow between shadows..thoughts...emotions

    Sleep overtakes me
    Mercy to a restless mind
    Torture to the soul

    ^ It's quite descriptive here.. I like how you ended with two 'to' .. It gives more depth..

    I really seek for Dark.. and Sad poems.. they are just my favorites.. and you made a great job with this form !!

    FIVE

  • 13 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    Within this poem there is a sense of pain and tiredness..an escape from the overbearing weight of sadness..very nicely done.

  • 13 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    Wonderfully penned Senryu. very expressive write.