Comments : On the move

  • 13 years ago

    by Cinnamonspice

    Looking to the future as a marathon or race is a nice touch. To not realize where it will lead is motivating at best.
    Good job :-)
    Connie

  • 13 years ago

    by Decayed

    Running to nowhere, to somewhere,
    sweat dripping, panting,
    my body wearing away,
    much faster than the soles of my shoes.

    Looking back, there's nothing to go back to.
    Looking forward, all is new and strange,
    my destination I know not,
    but I'm optimistic it lies somewhere ahead.

    Persevering the harsh conditions,
    I'm determined to stay in the race,
    like a marathoner between the finishing line in the front and competitors on the chase,
    I charge forward with my last breath to reach the tape.

    The last bend i take,
    my competitors approaching at lightning speed,
    hopes within me dwindles, but my determination still glows...

    Almost there, still I must be on the move,
    as glory and a golden trophy give me a the feeling of groove.

    ^^^
    THIS IS An edited version of your lovely poem.!

    I hope you copy what I've written and paste it as it is... It's so much better that way! :D

  • 13 years ago

    by Decayed

    Sorry: a feeling of grove (remove 'the' after 'a')
    and capitlaize "i" in The last bend I take...