Comments : Carcinogenic Heart (Collab with Lebanese Phoenix)

  • 13 years ago

    by Decayed

    So Happy to do the second collab, again, with you :D

    You're one of a kind, and working with you is so much fun and comfortable!

    5/5
    ;)

  • 13 years ago

    by nouriguess

    Wow....you know Abed, MarryAnne, you guys together make miracles. You both could write a fairytale, jeeezzze, you are such a mixture! haha :)

    Def -freaking- initely, the opening was the best best part of it all, I was taken away by its amazingness...grrrrr Now I want to write a collab, with you two :P

    He buries her soul
    among choleric rosebushes-
    a webbing of
    "I will wait for you's"
    that never bloomed
    in red winter trials.
    ^^^
    duppeeeeeee deeeee dooo
    isn't this supposed to be like this:

    "I will wait for you"s
    ????

    the s after the apost. I don't know, it just didn't seem right the way it is now.. :)

    "But she will never know..."
    ^^^
    I'm totally unsure who wrote this but upon my honor this is the best pause ever! good for whoever wrote this line, made me ponder for few seconds.

    - - - - -
    The wording was 'omg'.
    The ending really left me speechless, I really don't know what to say here! ughhh help me! :P
    five ;)

  • 13 years ago

    by nouriguess

    On a side note, MarryAnne, I <3 ya! xD

  • 13 years ago

    by BlueJay

    I like this a lot, wait no scratch that, I Love it! You guys are fabulous on your own but work together and it is even better then alone! Fabulous job!!

  • 13 years ago

    by Brittney Follett

    A beautifully sad poem. Once I went through it once I had to read it again and it was even better. I liked how you talked about the red and white winters. I loved this line:

    But between two breaths,
    time chars, and life degrades
    silently -
    biding farewells
    of terrestrial torment.

    Great job
    5/5