I'm trying not to think

I'm trying not to think,
about what we used to be
about how happy you made me,
how your smiles are amazing,
that you just completed me.

I'm trying not to think,
how you might be a dad,
how you called me saying a bunch of shit,
how i know you meant it,
but how badly you've changed.

I'm trying to remind myself,
you lost me,
how i deserve better then you,
how much you hurt me,
how much you made me cry,
that you shattered my heart.

I'm trying to remind myself,
this happened for a reason,
that its just another wrong turn,
that I'll be okay,
about the one who's out there for me.

I'm trying to convince everybody around me,
that I'm okay,
that I'm over you,
how much i hate you,
that i don't need any help.

When the truth is,
I'm lying to myself,
saying I'm okay,
i hate what you did to me,
and I'm glad your out of my life,
but that still,
I'll always have a place for you in my heart,
and how much,
I'm trying to tell myself,
that its okay to let go.