Comments : Forever a Scar

  • 13 years ago

    by Liliana

    This is amazing but heartbreaking at the same time, yet its simple and it shows a lot of emotions I like it :) 5/5

  • 13 years ago

    by Jenni

    A smile on your face
    Across my heart is the place
    It enters my body taking over my skin
    I can feel the love as it stains deep with in

    ^ The fact that the person who did this to the speaker still has a smile on their face proves that she is convinced that it was right what she did. If you did not mention the scar in the title I would not know what you are talking about in this stanza.
    Suggestions: I'd add "there's" in the first verse because it's a bit too short the way it is now,
    also add a comma between "body" and "taking", "within" is one word.

    Now your there for the world to see
    Your forever apart of what I will be
    No matter where you go, no matter how far
    You're always there with me, forever a scar

    ^ I really like this stanza because it flows well and I like your choice of words. This is very emotional too because you know that you will be stuck with this scar.
    Suggestion: "your" should be "you're".

  • 13 years ago

    by Cinnamonspice

    Simple and deep at the same time as a love poem should be. I liked the "forever scar" it fit perfect with what you were saying
    Connie

  • 13 years ago

    by BlueJay

    They have said everything that could possibly be said. Fantastic job!

  • 13 years ago

    by Gabrielle

    Short but very heartfelt i loved it

  • 12 years ago

    by xoxShorteexox

    Very powerful, but the grammatical errors messes with the flow a bit. Other than that, it creates a lot of thoughts and images that make you want to read the poem all over again.
    5/5
    -Heather

  • 12 years ago

    by Vanesa

    Short and lovely.
    Minor spelling details but over all a great write.