Answers are needed

I trusted you,

Then we had a fight,

And then you went away,

Without a word for me in sight.

I started thinking,

About all of my confusion,

I couldn't get mad,

Even with all your lies,

All of your creation.

I started realizing,

The happy me was gone,

With all my worrying,

Wondering where everything went wrong.

Then one day,

I finally found it,

A way to be happy again,

But I didn't like it

Not even a tiny bit.

I had found a way to hate you,

With the help of my other friend,

Ya, your other friend who betrayed you,

But I was different,

I would stay and help you until the end.

One night, I was watching the sky,

I couldn't stop worrying,

And wondering,

If you were alright.

And it all clicked in my head.

You were the one who taught me to trust,

And you were also the one who taught me loneliness,

You suddenly put me in distrust,

And in a lot of sadness.

I realized I was a stupid liar,

A stupid manipulator,

Who thought that maybe,

Someone would care for me.

I was so wrong,

And I remember thinking several times:

Nobody cares,

I should stop writing these lines.

And all of the sudden,

My world became black,

Everyone was using me,

And the happy girl just didn't come back.

She was getting worst,

Seeing all the lies,

She felt like everyone were just spies,

That no one saw as a person, a human being.

The girl was getting even worst,

When you did come back,

She wanted to share her secrets with you,

But then she learned that you lied,

And you never knew how much you hurt her,

With that specific lie.

The reason why you hurt her so much,

Is that she really needed someone to share,

All of her thoughts and silent thinking,

She had done while you were gone and relaxing.

You hurt her,

Because everything she wanted to tell you,

Was based on your lie,

And when you lied,

It started a silent war in her mind.

And it all started a fight,

When you didn't want to answer,

The most important question on her mind,

The one she has had in her head,

For about one month.

You didn't understand,

Why it would destroy me,

If you didn't answer the simple question:

What went wrong?

And I know I don't have real problems,

I know yours are ten time bigger,

But she wants you to know,

Exactly where you hurt her.

She knows you have bigger things to worry about,

She knows she is in your way right now,

But she is tired of guessing,

Tired of thinking,

Tired of being sad,

Tired of being lonely,

Tired of hiding,

And tired of lying.

I don't know what to do right now,

Should I trust you?

Or replace that with complete distrust?

I don't know.

I would really like to trust you,

But I don't feel like you trust me,

So tell me,

Why don't you trust me?

I never did anything to hurt you,

If I did,

Let me know,

But right now I don't know what to tell you.

Anyways,

I really don't know why I wrote you this,

You probably don't care,

Because after all,

These are just my insecurities.

(and these are just a few)

-------------------------------------------
you just told me today,
You never lied to me,
How could this be?
Now I'm ashamed.

I thought you hurt me,
But you didn't,
I thought you lied,
But you didn't.

Now I feel betrayed,
Because I went through so much pain,
Because the lie you told me,
But obviously,
It wasn't a lie.

Now I don't know,
After 4 months I'm over it,
But you are making me rethink it all,
I truly don't know what to do.

I guess I'll apologize,
Because after all you didn't lie,
You didn't do anything wrong,
But I can't say you didn't hurt me,
Because you did.