Had they only been moths drawn to an artificial light

by Gavin   Aug 22, 2011


Desire had been an illness.
For it warped the minds so anchored in make-shift habits.

Had they only been moths drawn to little lights.

When night sought refuge from the unyielding sun,
the moths nested complacently on man's lightbulb.
So bright.
So tangible.

Had they only been moths drawn to an unvibrant light.

Time passed;
night had been plunged into a violent brightness:
for once, the luminous rose was viewed under new light -
its Form had become evanescent.
The moths shamelessly leave their now naked nests,
sighing softly to the fall that will befall them,
plunging into the irresistible demise,
into the emblazoned countenance.
And they cried for the end of innocence.

Had they only been moths drawn to an artificial light.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by abracadabra

    Hmmm...so you like Aesop's Fables, eh? Can't think of one to match this poem, unless there's something about a moth getting burnt to death by an open flame, allured to its light? There was a good development of tone in this poem, and I think you have a knack for storytelling. I see some great potential in your writing- welcome to PnQ.

  • 13 years ago

    by nouriguess

    This was by all means amazing...Good job. :)

  • 13 years ago

    by sibyllene

    It's so nice to see some new people... and then when they can write, it's extra exciting! I think I'll need to read some of your other poems to get a better sense of your style, but I like what I see in this poem. I especially liked how you seemed to consciously control the pace; the longer, drawn out thoughts were highlighted well by the short lines like "So bright. / So tangible." It created a nice pause, and the overall effect of those lines was clear and refreshing. Well done.

  • 13 years ago

    by Cinnamonspice

    "Had they only been moths drawn to little lights."

    This was so original, I loved that line. It fit so many facets of life that it blew me away. Keep writing so we can keep enjoying

    Connie

  • 13 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Oh wow, you have talent!!
    The flow in this was brilliant, and the imagery was so vivid, I loved it!!
    keep it up, I'll be sure to read some more
    love Tara-Kay

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