by Gavin Aug 22, 2011
category :
Life, society /
about society
Desire had been an illness. |
by abracadabra
Hmmm...so you like Aesop's Fables, eh? Can't think of one to match this poem, unless there's something about a moth getting burnt to death by an open flame, allured to its light? There was a good development of tone in this poem, and I think you have a knack for storytelling. I see some great potential in your writing- welcome to PnQ. |
by nouriguess
This was by all means amazing...Good job. :) |
by sibyllene
It's so nice to see some new people... and then when they can write, it's extra exciting! I think I'll need to read some of your other poems to get a better sense of your style, but I like what I see in this poem. I especially liked how you seemed to consciously control the pace; the longer, drawn out thoughts were highlighted well by the short lines like "So bright. / So tangible." It created a nice pause, and the overall effect of those lines was clear and refreshing. Well done. |
"Had they only been moths drawn to little lights." |
by Tara Kay
Oh wow, you have talent!! |