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by Mark Spencer Aug 24, 2011 category : Life, society / faith, religion
Passion By Mark SpencerI am broken in my spirit, As I stand by helplessly, A witness to your suffering, Unable to set you free. Your blood has drenched the granite floor; Your tormenters laugh with glee. I watch your anguish, knowing You are doing this for me. Lord, I'm not worth enduring this, It is more than I can bear. At your command, I'll draw my sword; I will fight for you...I swear! Yet silently you persevere, Through the torture and the pain. They tear your flesh and spill your blood, As they mock you with disdain. The scourging lasts throughout the day, And though you can hardly stand, These men are not yet satisfied, It's your life they now demand. With your cross upon your shoulders, You are marched toward your death. Through tear filled eyes, I cannot see, And can scarcely catch my breath. As nails are driven through your hands, Your blood splatters on my robe. And I can't recall another, Who has suffered so...since Job. You must be in such agony, I can't imagine your pain. You endured that gruesome torture, And not once did you complain. And now you hang upon that cross, On display for all to see. I can't express the way I feel, For what you've gone through for me. The sacrifice that you have made, The forgiveness you impart; I won't take these gifts for granted, They will live within my heart. So please accept my gratitude, For the price you had to pay, For shining your redeeming light, So that I could find my way.
by Tara Kay
I am broken in my spirit, As I stand by helplessly, A witness to your suffering, Unable to set you free. ^Great opening stanza, full of sadness and helplessness. Your blood has drenched the granite floor; Your tormenters laugh with glee. I watch your anguish, knowing You are doing this for me. ^The rhymes here were added with ease, an I loved the insertion of “Graniteâ€, given vivid imagery Lord, I'm not worth enduring this, It is more than I can bear. At your command, I'll draw my sword; I will fight for you...I swear! ^A little bit of humour here enriched with pure emotionYou must be in such agony, I can't imagine your pain. You endured that gruesome torture, And not once did you complain. ^Love this stanza, because the contradiction of thinking how they feel but not really knowing it plays so well within the linesSo please accept my gratitude, For the price you had to pay, To shine salvation's light for me, So the lost may find their way. ^Great Ending, with so much hope and inspiration. The flow within this was perfect, and the rhymes incorporated into this seemed effortless. I loved the Imagery and emotion in this piece. You did a fantastic job. 5/5 for sure. Love, Tara-Kay x