I am broken in my spirit,
As I stand by helplessly,
A witness to your suffering,
Unable to set you free.

^Great opening stanza, full of sadness and helplessness.

Your blood has drenched the granite floor;
Your tormenters laugh with glee.
I watch your anguish, knowing
You are doing this for me.

^The rhymes here were added with ease, an I loved the insertion of “Granite”, given vivid imagery

Lord, I'm not worth enduring this,
It is more than I can bear.
At your command, I'll draw my sword;
I will fight for you...I swear!

^A little bit of humour here enriched with pure emotion

You must be in such agony,
I can't imagine your pain.
You endured that gruesome torture,
And not once did you complain.

^Love this stanza, because the contradiction of thinking how they feel but not really knowing it plays so well within the lines

So please accept my gratitude,
For the price you had to pay,
To shine salvation's light for me,
So the lost may find their way.

^Great Ending, with so much hope and inspiration.

The flow within this was perfect, and the rhymes incorporated into this seemed effortless.

I loved the Imagery and emotion in this piece.

You did a fantastic job.
5/5 for sure.

Love,
Tara-Kay
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