MaryAnneeeeeeeeeeee :D

The title feels like a Lady Gaga's song :p (I don't know why I felt this :)

He's not with me,
simply an atmosphere
tasting the moonlight
for my trance;
the keys garner
my shaded
heart,
while the song
repeats its piercing
search.

^ OMG!!!!<3 I love this.

It's so rhythmic, sorrowful and vivid!

You are the Master of Dark&Sad poemssss.. That's why I love to read your pieces. I lust over them =]

If I shatter the windows,
end the light and
break the piano's entrance,
I will be the effective
nullfication
to a lost, demented
soul lover.

^ This scene gave me shivers!!

FIVE

I'll simply start off with what got me here and that's the title. It's really unique and it definately pulled me in because it made me really curious.

"Only one bulb is playing its harp....
rims of serenity's lost friend
striving to put a blockade
against my shivering
lung."

These few verses portray a vivid image that is really capitvating. I like the idea behind this and I think that the expressions you used are really powerful.

"I can no longer respire,
when the ocean
cuts its horizon....
and I oxidate-
through arms
of opalescent memory."

The pass between ocean and horizon is an endless incident, which always seemed smooth to me, the fact that you're not able to respire because of it no more shows that even "banal" things complicate living. I also liked the use of "oxidate" in this context, it underlines your current situation really well.

"He's not with me,
simply an atmosphere
tasting the moonlight
for my trance;
the keys garner
my shaded
heart,
while the song
repeats its piercing
search."

This was my favorite part to be honest because it flows so well and seems really heartfelt. Especially since you mention that "he's not with you" that seems to be a really heartbreaking confession. I also liked that you picked up the music and it's harmful effect on you.

"What I see
(colors of my mind's
bloody exhaustion)....
is the one wound
worth committing."

Commitment is always a tough thing to do and I admire the honesty in this stanza, it's like you were not willing to accept what has happened before but now that you take a close look you realize that it's necessary to be able to move on.

"If I shatter the windows,
end the light and
break the piano's entrance,
I will be the effective
nullfication
to a lost, demented
soul lover."

Isn't it supposed to be nullification?
I think that this is a good ending that's filled with sadness yet it offers a way to deal with it.

Overall I think you penned a heartbreaking poem here that flows really great.

Beautifully written poem about loneliness, MaryAnne...I hear you, sweetheart.

This bittersweet pain is what will make you a strong and beautiful woman one day soon..you'll see:)

Love,
Ingrid