Lost in you, Lost in me

I agree with Rose blooming Your word and emotives are fantastic. All the elements for a great write exists in those lines of type. To bring a piece across as it is intended, often it helps to structure the wording for impact. I have to tell you. I am so bad in proper english and literature. I have learned alot by reading others work and paying attention to the way they use commas, periods...etc : ; , ! " There are some well verse poets on here that are good to learn from. Trust me. But don't try to learn from me you will learn mistakes for I am learning myself...lolok. Your poem is very raw and moving. I like it alot. You have talent.

I like the emotion in the poem, but i feel the stucture could be different. It is too much in paragraph form, and it is hard to really aquire a flow for it. I think if you put it in stanzas it would have a more powerful impact. Also i feel a few of the rhyming words seemed forced, don't be afraid to make your poetry not rhyme perfectly.... other than that i thought it was a good piece

I liked it. Nicely worded. To help with the flow try shortening the lines and making it in to more then one stanza along the lines of this:

"I feel cold. I feel dead.
I have all these thoughts in my head.
My love so far away.

Wishing for the day,
I can lay in your arms all day.
Lost in you, lost in me.

Falling asleep to the sound of our sweet melody.
You are so good to me.
That you hold the key, to my heart.

That's how it should be.
Lost in you, lost in me.
You kiss me on the cheek,
to where I can't speak.

Every time we touch,
I can tell you love me so much.
That sometimes I blush,
you make my heart turn to slush.

I love you and miss you so much.

I like this, and even though I like how it is written, maybe possibly perhaps you could put it into some other form of structure? But none the less it fantastic and you have done a magnificent job. You can really tell how much you love the person and using how you describe them that yes they love you the very same, so A+ on emotion!