Girl and a Gum Tree

by Melpomene   Aug 31, 2011


For an M&M vs. TC challenge. Prompt: Write a poem from the perspective of someone who loves you, about you.

Many days

I've found you -
slumped 'neath a gum tree,

the dew dripping from
an unripe leaf to your spine
making snail tracks
of words you couldn't say.

Bottlebrush bloomed and
your eyes were swollen
like a puffer fish -

and while my nose
wrinkled with the scent
of eucalyptus, I'd
stay with you anyway.

--

Your face nuzzled
against my cheek and
I'd often ask why
my skin would feel sloshed
like a swamp or an
over watered garden..

..Yet you'd never respond
for we spoke with
foreign tongues.

Somedays you'd whisper
between the buzz
of a bee and screech of
cockatoos dropping
seeds upon our heads,

you words jumbled
yet warm like the sun.

--

Many times
I'd place a gift
at your feet yet you'd
whiz it across the yard
like a fly over my head

and still I'd bring it back
with a huff and puff,
a flick of my tail
brushing against your leg.

For you to know,
I love you too.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by Brix Ambray

    Sweet and charming.....loving is really good..nice poem..5/5

  • 13 years ago

    by Britt

    I'm glad you took this one, because man oh man, it was a hard topic. It's hard to really write from that perspective, but here you go, being all creative, writing from I assume an animals perspective. I hope Zach doesn't have a tail, anyway.. LOL.

    Beautifully written and very sweet! I love the title.. had no idea where you pulled that from :)

  • 13 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    //Bottlebrush bloomed and
    your eyes were swollen
    like a puffer fish -

    // very creative wordplay and brilliant imagery ... I really loved these lines :)

    //against my cheek and
    I'd often ask why
    my skin would feel sloshed
    like a swamp or an
    // that is so sweet :D reminded me of my dog Tigger :)

    well written.

  • 13 years ago

    by Dark Secrets

    This poem is lovely... It has the spirit of the dog you're writing from the perspective of, it's playful and witty and a bit sarcastic... It has a sense of humor in it. I like the words you used and how you described things as in a dream, like you were the dog in your poem and so everything looks differently and is seen in another light... very well written :)

  • 13 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Haha! Mel! This was soooo creative and adorable!! The title threw me off I was like wtf is this poem about? And the more I as reading the more I jept enjoying it! This was great, i think you did awesome with this challenge!! Leave it to you to get a challenge and you nail it with something NO ONE else would consider writing about! This was great!
    chels

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