You, go..
Please do it right now, where I feel least suicidal.
I bleed inside.
When I look and see that you don't want anything from me...anymore.
Not even my love..
What is wrong with me
What is wrong with us.
Is it something I did.
I feel deep inside my love for u loosing its trust.
Blood rushes to my head, car upside down.
They did an autopsy.
Died of not knowing what was wrong with herself.
Was it always or sometimes her.
Or the people, family and lovers.
She knew of.
Scared and So Lost
What about the things you'd tell me one day, we'll do.
It is not easy for my hopes and dreams to dissapear.
What about the things we did.
Do you think those memories are missing.
What about I Love You.
I'm sorry was it suppose to last a certain time.
Did you know how you made me feel.
Of course you did, I wouldn't stop telling you.
You told me back, everything was real.
Thinking in the morning about you, as you sleep.
Sometimes thinking about eachother when were supposed to be asleep.
Mother, I miss your love for me.
I can escape our love.
But I can't escape mines.
I have to get away though.
I cannot take your abuse.
After, my heart is the thing that is feeling loose.
Father, where have you been.
Why did you hit my older brothers and I.
Why would you hurt me that way, why make me cry.
Why did you hit mother.
When I was young, when you two were married.
I tried to stop the fights.
Police showing up one night.
This time for you and brother.
A fight occured on something petite and little.
I am older and much smarter.
But still, I can never figure you out.
I wish I could go back to that night, when divorce thoughts did not occcur.
Where blood was not allured.
Ill stand as me now crying once more and figure out why you must be this guy.
Who is married with kids.
Now you visit and you leave.
When will I see you again..
Don't come anymore.
I don't like to worry..about you anymore.
Brothers I miss, the people you once were.
Men now without abuse from dad.
One who knows he's an addict when it comes to alcohol, and laughs about it.
Another who abuses his sister.
Marijuana, to some seem so simple.
Not that harmful, right.
So tell me why was anxiety weighing down on you to me that abusive sad night.
Lovers, I have something to say.
I wish you all the best witth the women and choices you end up with.
As for myself, I left me.
When you chad left me.
For something so reckless and new.
Out of all the girls babe.
Which one will still care.
Which one will tell you and show you that she will always be there.
Until the very thining of breath and air.
So everyone please leave me.
Go away.
The pain I have is here to stay.
All I ever honestly wanted was to make you all happy.
I let you go and I'll let you go.
To live with your choices.
I let you be free..of me.
~My only way to save me and be happy.
Let go and left....me.~
Love Always, Amber<3
Written: 9/2/11
Dedicated To: Everyone Who Is Alone.
People I've Known.
Chad James Pattison..Always In Me
I wished our days would never end.
We were more than lovers, we were good friends.
